Perfumes Reviews Using Scent Strips Because I’m Not Made of Money, OK?

So new fragrances are everywhere, and I’m currently obsessing over three in particular: Candy L’eau by Prada, Honey by Marc Jacobs, and Down Town by Calvin Klein. I’m not about to buy any of these, partially because I have a million perfumes already colonizing my bureau, but mainly because my current budget is focused on more important things—like, I don’t know,  paying my mortgage and eating occasionally. Yay fiscal responsibility, but my greedy inner baby is all “I don’t care, I want Marc Jacobs Honey because look at the bottle with the yellow polka-dotted cap and the vaguely bee-shaped bauble thingies!” Baby wants Prada L’eau, because, duh, Prada, and even though I’m usually kind of meh on Calvin Klein scents, the packaging looks like a cross between an amethyst and a Weeble Wobble; it just speaks to me.

If you, like me, can’t rush out and buy every new perfume that hits the market, don’t despair. There’s totally a way to get your greedy hands on these scents, therefore perpetuating the lie that you are the kind of person who just throws whatever she wants into her Sephora basket AND smells delicious. You just need to gently lower your general life expectations, buy a couple of fashion magazines, and get to ripping strips. Stacks upon stacks of strips. You are going to make it rain with strips, frankly. That way, at least we’ll know what the new stuff smells like and we can pretend we might buy some soon. Plus, trying on perfume in this way guarantees you automatic membership in the broke ass beauty club—hi, I’m totally the president here.

If you are too broke to buy fashion mags, you’re still in luck, ‘cause I’m reviewing these bad boys strip-style. Now, if I were doing an actual perfume testing, I’d go in with clean wrists and sniff coffee beans between scents. But here’s how this kind of review works: um, I rip the strip, inhale deeply, lightly apply to my wrist, and then try to desperately seal the strip back up so some fragrance remains. It’s totally legit, guys. And bonus review: how much self-loathing-because-I’m-using-scent-strips does each accompanying ad induce?

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